Watt's Well

Room to Be, Space to Create

Tag: perspective

Day 19-20:: Break for fall

Yesterday the final script for me was my eyes batting off sleep as my head was a bit achy from the weekly overload.

Some days my head gets so full that it literally feels like built up pressure.  I look in the mirror waiting for the stem to spit out of my ears.

But it never does.

At moments, I want to be able to tilt my head over and shake some of the memos, thoughts, to-dos, expectations out of my head.

Still, it does not work.

Maybe my brain will become so full that it’ll start oozing out my ears. Tragic I am sure. But the pressure will be released.

Debunked. Only in my craziest imagination.

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This week I gave myself a break from some things that have become tedious and tasked for this season.

Besides some scribbled in appointments and a very rough check list, the pages of my planner stayed blank.  Its wonderful to have this tool in this season.  But it is just that, a tool, necessary for sanity.  Im not the cutesy planner chick.  Im the spur-of-the-moment afraid-of-committing-free-flowing kind of girl.

I gave myself permission not to plan out my days to a T this week.

I’ll admit it…I wore the same outfits a couple times this week. Outfit planning did not take my time.  I looked nice, not like I slept in a stable or anything.

I gave myself permission to be simple.

Seeing that the surf was going to be above par, I set the alarm the night before for early o’clock.  I woke reluctantly but soon excitement stirred.  The sunrise was breath-taking. Absolutely worth waking to see the rays kissing the waves.  A friend and I hung in the water until the world woke up.

I gave myself permission to be spontaneous and do something I love.

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I know this will not be my new norm.  My planner will be full of colorful markings and check lists.  Not all mornings will allow a spontaneous sunrise surf.

But I am still gleaning from a valuable perspective because I gave myself permission to do some things a bit differently this week.

I can appreciate certain disciplines more. Some disciplines even have become second nature. I saw where adjustments need to be made to take care of myself better.

Maybe your soul could use the break from a couple of tasks in your life.

Are you willing to give yourself permission to step away for a couple days from the to-do list, the planning, or whatever may be needing to air out a bit?

This is not time to have this big introspective ahh ha moment.  It is literally permission for a break.  The ahh ha moment may come and it may not, but do not force it.

Just break for fall.

Day 12-13:: Dimly

Its been a battle to keep my head above the stinkin’ thinkin’ water line the past couple of days.

Did you see what I just wrote there?  That has a lot to do with the issue at hand.  Maybe you did not catch the subtle implied meaning.  It’s been my battle to keep my head above…

A sinking person trying to save themselves…hmm…something just does not add up.

The Lord extends his hand willingly to pull me up out of the water, I just must recognize that he does so.

We can get so wrapped up in making things happening, taking control, putting out fires, planning.  Before we know it we are in over our heads, desperately needing a break from the hustle, the anxiety, the competing, the demands.

See his hand?

He sees it all.

He sees beyond our current situation.  We feel like it is the biggest deal in the world.  But to Him it is a pinpoint in our story.  A moment he desires to be present with us.

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He sees it all.  But we see dimly.

We cannot make out the future, we cannot control it neither.  Our present we only speculate about.

I love how in the book of John, the author says that the disciples did not understand what Jesus was speaking about until after his resurrection.  The disciples could not even grasp what was going on in the current moment.  It was not until much later that they understood the significance of Jesus’ words.

I’ve been there.  I’ve not understood why things look a certain way only to see later how God was moving in me and around me.

He sees it all.  And there He is reaching out his hand.

This weekend, may we find His hand being extended to us as one that is trustworthy, stable, and strong.

Day 11:: The middle, man!

“The middle is messy”, Brené Brown speaks of the grit of our processes, “but it’s also where the magic happens.”

Honestly for me the middle is often times frustrating.

As I sat on the dock tonight, drinking a beer, and brain dumping on to my journal pages, I noticed the dock needed some work.  My mind wandered over thoughts of pressure washing it, building a new bench table, staining the dock.  Of course, I realistically reeled my thoughts in.  I am just a renter.  Then I recalled shamelessly, the countless other projects I have yet to finish.

Once upon a time, that dock was not there.  All there was in that space was marsh and open water.  No rusty worn out bench, no place to tie off a crab pot, no lights, no piles to hammock from.  The dock did not appear out of nowhere.  One day nonexistent, then next inviting to be ventured out on.

There was a middle.

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Building a dock is quite the undertaking.  You are placing piles into ewwy gooey pluff mud.  This alone takes the right machinery and for most people, the right skilled technician. Then there is the carpentry behind each and every board, the electrical behind the switches and the lights, and the list goes on.  Even before any of this, there has to be approval from the “gods of the local tidal ways”.

Sounds perfectly straight forward.  Easy. One days planning, one days work. Absolutely not!

Sounds a lot like most of my seasons.  There is work.  There are zigzag patterns I walk.  I hit obstacles.  I want to give up, but the vision keeps pushing me forward.

As you and I wrestle in this season, may we remember the middle is messy. May we take a step outside our situation for just long enough to see that there were other seasons.  We entered and left those seasons, but between the beginning and the end there was an emotionally charged middle.

If we can get that perspective the frustration, the negativity, or whatever else we may be experiencing is transformed into forward moving hope.

May we have the strength and courage to walk out the middle with confidence, faith, and security.

He is good.  He is for us.  He will deliver us.  He is waiting for us to ask: “God what are you doing right here in this moment”.

“Fearless in Love”

These waters are unstable, roughly unpredictable.
A keen eye should be kept to the bow.
Hand clenched on the side of the wooden vessel,
for a moment i take in its grain, its make.

Been in such waters before.
Her sail let loose in a slap,
took more than one pair to wrestle that white.
Even now something unexpected begins to stir.

Out in the distance a figure,
a man. My heart least expects,
Kind eyes I see, in the midst of violent waves.
Smiling soft lips move to his calm words.

I’m drawn, compelled.
Calm down oh soul, what if
its not him. Yet he waits.
Welcoming me to join him among the shifting waters.

Tides and waves, boats and sails;
what are you compared to this love.
No mind do I give you,
for you are nothing compared to.

Rise I do. Hand free of wooden barricade.
Look these feet walk over too. It is He I see.
Yet what if these eyes deceive me.
The wet I feel all around me.

Rough hands to which I do cling.
Oh yes it is surely he.
Lovingly he raises me,
and together we dry in the hull.

“Insecurity” (partly written sometime in February)

They sneak so silently,
rising from within.
Stirring gently heating the coals,
but tumultuous waters do come.

My familiar storm
eats away at me.
Yet protecting and projecting
to defend its humorous honor.

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